Reflections
by Xia Rain
Summary: [Friendship-RavenxStarfire] set directly after Spellbound. Starfire allows Raven to explain how she feels.


Yawn. One-shot. Inspired by "Spellbound". Could be interpreted as Yuri, I guess. I don't own Teen Titans.

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The gentle pitter-patter of Starfire's boots sounded through the halls, into the main room, and down the small set of carpeted stairs. It was about 1:00am, and one would wonder what she was doing up at this hour. There were no lights on, but Starfire could see well enough in the dark without any.

She reached out to the left. Her fingers groped around for the light switch she knew was located there. She tried not to make noise; She didn't want the others to wake up and think something was wrong. She finally felt the switch, and with a small flick of her fingers, she switched it on.

A small hoarse sound came from the couch. Starfire turned around and stared. "Is someone there?" She called, resting her hand on the wall. There was a flash of blue, and Starfire heard a muffled voice call out. "It's Raven."

"Raven? What are you doing here in the dark alone?"

Her voice sounded choked now. "Nothing."

"Oh. Well, I-- Do you wish for me to turn the light off once more?"

"Yes." Starfire pushed the switch down, then looked over at the couch again. She stood there in silence, waiting for Raven to do or say something. Perhaps she wanted to be left alone? But she hadn't said anything...

"Raven? Why are you not in your room?"

"I--I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be reminded."

Starfire took a step foreword, then hesitantly lifted her feet in the air and floated over to the back of the couch. "Raven..." She leaned over and saw the dark girl crumpled into a ball on the couch, staring straight ahead of her with her cloak wrapped around her thin body. "Raven? May I be of assistance?" She didn't respond. Starfire floated around to the front of the couch and kneeled down so she was face-to-face with Raven. Raven didn't move.

"Raven, please...I wish to help. I understand you are going through pain, but seeing you like this makes me feel unpleasant." She reached out and touched Raven's hand.

Raven made a small sound, like she wanted to say something but she was holding herself back. Starfire took her hand in hers, then floated over and sat on the couch. "Raven...just pretend you can talk to me. I may not understand you as much as I could attempt to, but just forget that. I do not want for you to be sad."

She blinked, then sat up straight on the couch. Starfire could see her face was stained with tears, and more were forming at the corners of her amethyst eyes. Her mouth opened, and instead of the hoarse, quiet voice Starfire had expected, she spoke clearly and strongly.

"Starfire, before you joined the Teen Titans, how did you feel?"

Starfire was taken aback. "I am not sure, Raven. I felt scared, and alone. I was confused, and I did not have anyplace to go, until you all found me."

"That's how I felt just a few weeks ago, Star. Like no one cared, like no one understood me, like the only reason you all put up with me is be could of my powers. "

"Friend Raven! You know that is not true!" Raven smiled weakly.

"I know, Star. But for a while, I felt that way. But then I got that book, and I found out about Melchior.... and I felt comfortable. I felt like someone actually wanted to know about me, who actually shared my opinions instead of being against me. And he was funny, too. And kind. He was the type of person I could see myself being with, without causing them pain.

"But you know what, Star? He was also one hell of a good actor."

She closed her eyes and leaned back on the couch. "I found myself obsessing over him. My dreams were full of him, how he would look when we were done, how happy I would be when I could finally see him. The highlight of my day would be waking up, and seeing his book form over in the corner of my room, slumped over, reading a spell book or practicing a curse. I think, Starfire, that I was in love."

Starfire's hand tightened around Raven's. Raven didn't seem to notice.

"I didn't realize that he was teaching me dark magic. And even when I did, he tricked me into believing it wasn't. He was so sincere, so nice to me, that I believed him. And I loved him. Because I thought he loved me. But then I found out the truth. And I still loved him, even when I found out he was the dragon. Because he was still the only one who understood." Raven scooted closer to the Tameran.

"Dark magic is dangerous, Starfire. I nearly killed a small girl, all for him. And even now, even after this, I can't get rid of it. All these spells and curses are embedded in my mind, and I'll have to meditate a lot more just to control them. It's like learning to ride a bike. Once you learn, you never forget.

I can't get rid of them. But I'm stronger now. Much stronger than I was before. It's just going to be harder." She laid her head on Starfire's shoulder. Starfire brought a hand up to stroke her hair.

"And afterwards, I just felt so empty. Like I would never find someone like that again. I had so many emotions inside me, and they had to latch onto something. So when BeastBoy came to my door, I hugged him.

"It hurt Starfire. It hurt because he just pushed me off like it was you or even Robin hugging him. He didn't even seem to want to comfort me, only to apologize for something he didn't do. And I realized he was still in love with Terra, and that he couldn't touch someone else, until he had her back. So I put on a front, again, and ignored everything until now."

Starfire could tell she was finished. She curled a purple strand of hair around her finger, and then let it fall back on to Raven's head. She closed her bright green eyes, then re-opened them.

"Raven...I am sorry. Truly I am. Love is difficult, and I do not think I even have yet to experience it. But for you, to love and for it to be false...I do not think I would be able to bear it." She shook her head. "But you, Raven, you are strong. I know you will be able to survive, because I think you understand that we care about you more than you know. BeastBoy.. You two have things in common. You both were in love and you both were betrayed. You do not have to confront him about it, just as he does not to you. But just..Just let it be known.

"Please do not be sad, Raven. You are not alone. You have me, and Cyborg, and Robin, and BeastBoy."

Raven nodded, tears forming in her eyes again. Starfire reached her arms out, and Raven fell into them, not bawling, not sobbing, and not even crying. Starfire hugged her friend softly and gently rocked her, something they both knew would never happen again.

"Thank you, Starfire." Raven whispered. "Thank you for understanding." Starfire smiled softly and closed her eyes. Everything would be fine.


End file.
